I had quite the interesting night. While navigating my way around the unfamiliar downtown of Jacksonville, I happened upon a very impressive fireworks show. I got stuck at a stop light, and it exploded on the water less than 100 yards ahead of me. It was truly spectacular. Heading home, I battled a few really fucking stupid drivers. As I walked towards my hotel door I saw what looked like money on the ground. I bent over, picked it up, and unwadded a five dollar bill. Still heading for the door I looked down to see if my luck would get even better. I picked up a folded up paper, and began unfolding as I continued towards the door. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed something fell out, but couldn’t tell what. I looked at the paper to see that it was a program from a worship service. I turned around to see what had fallen out. Guess what it was??? Bud…….somebody had their pot stashed in a worship service program. I am certain……who ever lost it 1. Is probably going to hell! 2. Karma bit them right on the ass, and that’s why they lost it. Who hides marijuana in a church service program?
I have been away from home what seems like an awful lot the last two years. I have spent a total of five months in foreign countries, over one month out of state, and many weekends away from home. After purchasing my home just a year ago, it still doesn’t feel very homey. I recently returned from a very warm, dry, and dusty two month trip to the middle eastern desert. I am now in Florida for two weeks. I am not really complaining. I guess it kind of sucks after two months in the desert i come home, go to Florida, and hope to get a tan there. Pathetic i suppose. But their are only so many hours in a day.
I hit the pool this afternoon, and boom it gets cloudy. The lady next to me chimes in, “oh look, you brought clouds.” shortly the sun comes back out. a few minutes later it starts to sprinkle, “oh look, you brought rain with you.” apparently there were tornado warnings just to the north. and about that tan? i am still working on it.
If you don’t have anything nice to say…….don’t say anything at all. So if I am not really talking, and if anyone is reading, its by choice, would mama whoop my ass? Perhaps she would, but I would argue this point. That’s one thing that will never change, I stand my ground.
When I was in kindergarten, i got into an argument with my teacher. my this topic always seems to come up when i introduce someone new to my parents. the biggest reason it comes up is because i won the argument. a math problem showed a picture with four shoes; the question below the picture asked how many shoes were in the picture. the common and expected answer was four. daring to be different, or perhaps seeing the glass with water in it (neither half full nor half empty), i answered two pair. after quite the argument with the teacher, and a phone call home to dear old mom………i got the question right. say it with me now—i am a mother f***in genius!
This is my first attempt at a blog. And um, well, in my world if you have never done something before……you are a virgin. So technically until i hit the publish button……ladies and gentlemen……..I AM A VIRGIN!
So what does a person really write about on here? I had a crappy day, the dog puked on my girlfriend, and i hate stupid people? Well, none of that is true, so I guess I will have to ponder my somewhat simple existence, and try again later.
